6th Day

Not a good day. Housebound again with a sick child...Did get a phone call from the pediatrician, to inform me that I will not be able to get the flu booster shot for my youngest child. Under age 9 they get 2 shots 4 weeks apart. Apparently they did not hold back doses for those needing the booster. She also suggested that had I come in earlier in the season, this wouldn't have happened. Normally I would have been critical of this, they gave away the shots with a disregard to the other patients and then put the spin that he probably didn't need it anyway. I normally "shoot the messenger" and anyone in the area when I am annoyed about things like this. But I politely asked the nurse, "Are you making a lot of these phone calls," she replied "yes." I told her I would not give her a hard time.

No cards on day #6.

5th Day as the Etiquette Spokeswoman

I put on my gear yesterday and headed out into the world with my sick child. We stopped at the post office, where I offered to help a postal clerk find a new babysitter. Her babysitter quit with no notice (breech of etiquette - I would send her a card if I knew where she was!) and now she is jumping through hoops to get her kindergarten age child taken care of so she and her husband can get to work. I wasn't even tempted to give her the Family Etiquette card which states "Don't ask family for unreasonable babysitting services." She is in dire straits.

We headed from there to the grocery store, with my card showing 15 transgressions that can occur there. Nothing. Midwesterners are a gracious crowd! From there we headed my son's doctor appointment. We were left waiting in the examining room for 20 minutes. Normally I would have complained, "My time is valuable too!" "Why didn't you tell me you had a medical emergency, I would have understood!" But the nurse informed us at the start, that the doctor had an exam and we might want to read a book, (Code for: you'll be waiting awhile). When the doctor arrived she was very friendly, took time with us, so it turned out to be a nice experience. After that, we went to Blockbuster, where the clerk kindly showed us where Ben Ten and Scooby Doo were kept. No breeches here!

We went home.

Today's another day!

4th Day

I was housebound with a sick child all day. But I did dress the part even though I did not leave the house...Was able to correct the kids on a few points. My 13 year old nearly knocked me out of the way as I was on my way to the powder room...

3rd Day

I went shopping, no opportunities. I went to yoga, without my cards. Two women from the previous spin class continued to chat 5 minutes into the yoga class. I was contemplating what to do when they stopped. I realized that, even without cards, I could nicely approach the women and say, "Perhaps you didn't realize that the yoga class started, would you mind finishing your chat outside the studio?" Live and learn.

I have realized that in all situations there is a nice, gentle way to handle breechers of etiquette!

2nd Day

I did not give out any cards on the ride into the city. I've noticed that people are better behaved on the way into the city in the mornings. I was able to give some Just Gentle Reminder cards to classmates, mostly for bad language. I also left a couple of cards in the ladies bathroom; one stall was left a disgusting mess.

As I was riding the train home, I noticed a woman with leaky earphones. I went over with a card, pointed out her transgression. She handed me back the card and continued to listen to loud music. Proper etiquette dictates that I leave the situation alone, which I did.

I went to the movies this evening. Everyone at the theater was on good behavior.

To the girl in Lagrange with the Loud Music...

Thanks for graciously accepting my first Just A Gentle Reminder Card. You are the first person to be part of a social experiment on the effect of good manners on society. I hope you have a great weekend!

As I ventured out in the guise of Ms. Manners, I actually started to become her. I put my cart back in the cart holder at Home Depot and Costco. I was friendly to all of the store employees. Their faces lit up when I said hello. I realized that I don't often say hello unless I am approached first...It was interesting.

Being all dooded up really makes a difference in how people treat you. You feel better and therefore act more confident and in my case friendlier and people respond to that. It makes me think that it would be an interesting piece to put yourself in the same situation over and over, dressed and acting differently and see how people respond...

Anyway, I gave out one card to a girl at a stop light blasting her music. I just handed it to her but realized I should have been polite..."May I give you my card?" This is not something I can be aggressive about. Anything I've read about good manners states that one should avoid confrontation when on can, take the higher road, so to speak. I will only give out the cards when someone is so in breech as to make others around them uncomfortable. I have found that being the person with impeccable (sans the giving out of etiquette cards) manners is very powerful in itself.

Etiquette Cards

If you've received one of these cards, you've been in breech of a rule of etiquette. This is a social experiment to see if good manners can make the world a happier and safer place. This is just one example of the cards that I will be handing out over the course of the next week. I will also be living my life in the realm of good manners (my only breech, hopefully, is the handing out of the cards!)

Just A
Gentle
Reminder…

Cell Phone Never-Evers
(Emily Post’s Etiquette, p. 307)

1. Never talk too loudly in public
2. Never leave the ringer on in quiet places
3. Don’t chat if you are with someone
4. Keep calls to a minimum on public transportation or in public areas
5. Don’t use offensive language
(This can include I love yous and my kid is brilliant comments)

http://justagentlereminder.blogspot.com

Bedrock Principles of Etiquette:

Respect-recognizing the value of other human beings and yourself

Honesty-behaving ethical but avoiding hurting others

Consideration-thoughtfulness and kindness; putting others at ease

Graciousness-handling situations with aplomb and flexibility

Deference-recognizing a person's experience and accomplishments, i.e. using respectful forms of address, standing when an older person enters a room, etc. (p. 3-4 of Emily Post's Etiquette)

All of the etiquette tips printed on these cards were taken from the 17th edition of Emily Post's Etiquette.

Misconceptions about etiquette and the need for it abound, which makes it necessary to list four things etiquette is not:

A set of rigid rules - it is a prescribed way of behaving to make others feel comfortable

Something for the wealthy or well-born - it is a code of behavior for people from all walks of life. Everyone's life can be enhanced by good manners

A thing of the past - although things are more casual today, the bedrock principles still apply

Snobbishness - a.k.a. pretentiousness - a person who looks down on others shows himself not as superior but small-the kind of person who's anything but respectful and considerate. ( p. 5 of Etiquette)